Do You Feel GUILTY or SHAMEFUL?
Thinking With Clarity
Is there really a difference?
GUILT
It’s amazing how well our mind works to keep us feeling like we are in prison. Still feeling guilty even after we have apologized. We are very good at feeling GUILT.
States elect a District Attorney to protect their State laws. Many “Blue States” have not received that expected justice in recent months. They had received quite the opposite, the D.A.’s have done all they could to remove the “Guilt” from people who were arrested for a huge number of crimes. Many people are leaving those states.
Our own Vice President, Kamala Harris, is well-known for helping to raise funds to pay the Bail of people who were guilty of various crimes; looting stores, smash-and-grabs, property destruction, fires, carjackings, and even murder. These perpetrators have been put back on the street with a speed that has made our eyes spin. No doubt one reason for her lowest approval rating of any U.S. Vice President.
I just heard a news story of the man who started the fire that killed 3 people who had, I believe, 10 felonies as a result. In his own words, he described how he had no idea how they were pleaded down, and down again to probation and he was out on the street. Even the people who do these things and get right out realize that what they did deserved a greater sentence. They knew they were guilty! But the legal system told them there was nothing really wrong with what they had done.
SHAME
Now, “Shame” is very different. Think… when was the last time you even used that word? I bet it was quite a while ago. I don’t think very many people even think in terms of the word SHAME, as in, “I am so ashamed!”
Webster defines SHAME as, “a painful feeling of humiliation or distress caused by the consciousness of wrong or foolish behavior”.
Probably the most frequent usage of this word would be when someone, like a parent, maybe, is very upset and says, “You should be ashamed of yourself!”
The difference in these words has plagued my own prayer life. Nothing in my past had made me more uncomfortable than to find myself asking for forgiveness from God… for things that I have already enumerated, more than once before. It’s like I continued to feel the shame and identified it as guilt. Guilt that just didn’t go away.
Have you found yourself doing that?
So my guilt is the recognition that I have done something that I should NOT have done. My shame is what I would call my internalization of guilt.
When I was a youngster, a small group of us were playing at a shed in McNeil’s backyard. We found some matches, and, what do kids do… we lit some of them, and as I remember they didn’t stay lit. I don’t remember the exact order of things, but before I knew it the fire department was at their house putting out the fire which started in the hay and spread to the shed itself. I ran home just knowing it had to be my fault. Ran up to my bedroom in the attic and just knew the end of my life had come.
My mother knew that something was wrong (how do they do this). So the story came out between tears and sobbing. Mom said we had to go to the McNeil’s and apologize. What a walk of shame. I rang the doorbell expecting my knees to buckle at any moment. The door opened and there stood Mrs. McNeil. I shakingly told her what we had done and instead of rebuke and a scolding, I remember sweetness and forgiveness. Guilt, which had quickly turned to Shame, turned to relief.
Thinking back on how I felt as I stood at that front door, I identified with David as he wrote,
“Thou hast known my reproach, and my shame, and my dishonor: mine adversaries are all before thee.” Psalms 69:19
THE ROARING LION
“Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour:” 1 Peter 5:8
We must be aware of how Satan works to confuse our thinking. He makes us remember what we did wrong and the God-given conscience within us tells us we really screwed things up. Then we figure we need to ask God for forgiveness because we still feel guilty.
Again from the Psalms of David,
“My confusion is continually before me, and the shame of my face hath covered me,” Psalms 44:15
“We lie down in our shame, and our confusion covereth us: for we have sinned against the LORD our God, we and our fathers, from our youth even unto this day, and have not obeyed the voice of the LORD our God.” Jeremiah 3:25
WHAT IS THE SOLUTION?
I think of the story of Peter and the disciples about 3 a.m. fighting heavy waves, were frightened when they saw a ghost walking on the water.
“But Jesus spoke to them at once. “Don’t be afraid,” he said. “Take courage. I am here!”
Matthew 14:27
Then fickle Peter, who was bold at this moment, said,
“Lord, if it’s really you, tell me to come to you, walking on the water.
“Yes, come,” Jesus said.
So Peter went over the side of the boat and walked on the water toward Jesus.“But when he saw the strong wind and the waves, he was terrified and began to sink. “Save me, Lord!” he shouted.
“Jesus immediately reached out and grabbed him. “You have so little faith,” Jesus said. “Why did you doubt me?
Matthew 14:28-31
Why did Peter start to sink beneath the waves? He took his eyes off Jesus and saw the WAVES… and he became AFRAID!
A key point to understand: It wasn’t merely that he took his eyes off Jesus, but with his gaze, he saw the waves and became afraid. I believe if Peter had simply seen the waves and praised God and not focused on himself, he would have continued to walk on the water.
CONCLUSION
Do you want an end to this internal guilty feeling, the feeling that real criminals have too? To put a final end to the recurrent temptation to feel Shame and Guilt is really as simple as the gift of salvation itself!
Promise 1: Psalms 34:4
Pray without ceasing! Keep a thankful heart and use thankful words in your prayer life. Focus on the victory that Jesus promises you. Stop looking at your sinfulness, but from your sinfulness, look unto Jesus the author and finisher of your faith.
Promise 2: Isaiah 54:4
Accept the promise of Jesus! He has promised that you will FORGET THE SHAME of your youth!
Believe Him!
Don’t be a lukewarm Christian!
Trust in Jesus, keep a thankful heart and a thankful mindset.
This will assure your success in forgetting the shame of the past!
Promise 3: Isaiah 54:10
Promise 4: Isaiah 1:18
BE FREE FROM GUILT AND SHAME
Jesus died for us.
Jesus forgives you of your sins if you ask Him.
He removes the Guilt and Shame.
I leave you today with this beautiful song by Steve Darmody, to encourage you to know that God cannot be separated from you and your victory in Jesus!
What Can Separate You?
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